


silence

by RosieClark



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, F/M, based off of another fic, openish ending?, plangst, take it how you will
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-11
Updated: 2020-03-11
Packaged: 2021-03-01 02:48:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,544
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23107996
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RosieClark/pseuds/RosieClark
Summary: “Hi,” he manages, using his thumb to wipe a tear from her cheek.“Hi.”His hands reach down and clasp hers. “So this is it then?”“Yeah, it is.”
Relationships: Lance/Pidge | Katie Holt
Comments: 3
Kudos: 29





	silence

**Author's Note:**

> yo! so this piece is inspired by [Tomorrow is Uncertain](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23017081) written by the amazing [@toocool2btrue](https://toocool2btrue.tumblr.com/) ! Definitely go check it out if you haven't!

It was dreadfully quiet, the only sounds in the room being the beeping and whirring of the machines surrounding her partnered with her own laboured breaths. She wonders how much longer she has before the room becomes completely silent. 

She had been doing well, really well actually, still living on her own, going about her day, taking her meds. Some days she had even felt  _ alive _ . It wasn’t until James found her on her kitchen floor two weeks ago that her health really started to decline. 

Since then, she’d left Lance a hundred voicemails and texts, all going unanswered. She didn’t expect him to respond, not after she broke his heart like that, but it still stung. It’s selfish of her really, to want to tell him the truth before she dies, but she can’t help it. 

Outside her door, raised voices catch her attention, and she focuses on hearing them better. 

“--so I’m just supposed to let you in? I’m pretty sure the last thing Katie needs right now is a visit from you.” 

James. He must be angry, because he would never shout like that in the hospital. Whoever he was talking to seems to be calmer as Katie can’t hear their response. 

“You really expect me to believe you care? After you’ve ignored her for the past  _ months _ ? I don’t think so.” 

She closes her eyes, the familiar feeling of a headache coming on. For a brief moment, she considers paging in the nurse for some medication, but decides against it. The pain was a welcome distraction. 

The ache in her temples flares into the rest of her body, roaring up and becoming unbearable. In the distance, she registers the door opening, and hurried footsteps. Someone is shouting, and she wants to tell them to stop, that the loud noise was just adding to her agony.

“Katie, look at me.”  _ James _ . She focuses on his face, and watches as he turns back to shout at someone else in the room. “Talk to me,” James says, and she detects undertones of urgency in his words. She hones in on his voice, using it to ground herself. “On a scale of one to ten, where’s the pain?” 

Gritting her teeth, she raises eight fingers off of the bed. Jame’s eyes flick to her hands before muttering a curse and disappearing from view. She counts to five before sweet relief floods through her body, and her muscles relax, exhausted. Medical technology these days truly never ceased to amaze her. Sure, it isn’t advanced enough to cure her, but it manages to make her last days bearably and pain free. 

When her breathing has finally returned to normal, she hears James sigh. “Why didn’t you call for help sooner?” His face reappears in her vision, worried and exasperated. “We’ve talked about this before Katie, pain is not the answer.” 

She switches her gaze from him to the window and bites back a snarky comment. It was easy for him to say. He wasn’t the one stuck in a bed, not being about to itch her own nose. She desperately wants to feel something,  _ anything _ , and pain seems to be the only answer. It was a good reminder that she’s still alive. 

When it becomes clear that her answer is silence, James just shakes his head and walks away. “Oh, by the way, you have a visitor.” 

At this, her ears perk up and her naturally curious mind longs for the strength to sit up and see who it is. 

“Katie.” 

Her heart stops at the voice she both longed and dreaded to hear.  _ Lance.  _ She clears her throat and prays her voice comes strong. “Hey.” 

“Are you--?” 

“Yeah, yeah fine now. Modern medicine works wonders and all,” she attempted a laugh, but it turns into a cough. 

As they lapsed into silence, she inwardly cringes at how awkward its become between them. It breaks her heart all over again. They had been Lance and Pidge, the couple with a love that stretched across galaxies. He had been her best friend, her confidant, her partner in crime, and here they were, struggling to make small talk. Seconds tick by, feeling like an eternity, yet neither of them dare to speak. 

It wasn’t like she doesn’t have anything to say, she has a million questions. How was he doing? How was work going? Has he flown any cool prototypes lately? Any new girls in his life?    
  


Katie wants to smack herself for even thinking about asking that last one. Who was she to think she has the right to know about his love life? She’d already broken his heart, but asking if he’d gone on any dates felt like rubbing salt in the--

“Why?” 

One word, but it rips through the silence, tearing it to shreds. His question hangs in the air, heavy and weighing down on her chest, making it near impossible to breath. She had anticipated this of course, recited to herself countless times what she would say if the opportunity did arise, but now that it was here, the words were stuck in her throat. 

Her body hurts to the point where she can’t even gather the strength to turn her head and look him in the eyes, and she wonders if it's easier that way. If her deteriorating health is finally doing something good for her. 

“I had to” she rasps. “I couldn’t tell you the truth, not when I knew what it would do to you.” 

‘So you lied?” she can picture the expression on his face, brows drawn together, eyes full of confusion and hurt, his lips a thin line. “I would have--”

“I know!” she cries, her hands shaking uncontrollably. She grips at her blanket so hard her knuckles turn white. “I know what you would have done, and I wasn’t willing to do that to you.” 

“That wasn’t your decision to make. I would have been happy to help you, support you, do  _ anything  _ as long as it was with you!” 

“Lance, I would have been giving you a life sentence. You’d say you’re happy, but after I die? What then? You would have holed yourself up, giving up on what you want out of respect for me. You'll love me, but after enough time, deep down, you’ll grow to resent me.” 

“ _ Never _ .” 

She shakes her head, her tears dampening the pillow under her head. “You’ll resent me for chaining you to me.” Katie takes a few deep breaths to calm her thoughts. When she speaks again, her voice is steady. “So as much as breaking your heart hurt, I knew you were going to be okay after.” 

Lance is silent for so long she begins to wonder if he’s left the room. She’s about to ask, when he speaks up. “You are truly the most remarkable woman I’ve ever met.” Her heart leaps a his words, and she bites her lip to stop from smiling. “You’re dying yet your first thought is of others. When will you learn that I can take care of myself? You don’t have to worry about me.” 

“I can’t help it,” she admits. “I will always worry about you.” 

“Katie, listen to me. I will be okay.'' His voice is firm. Each word is accentuated by a footstep closer to her bed, until she can feel his presence right next to her. She hears him kneel down, his hand resting on her arm. 

The dam that’s been building up inside her finally bursts, and hot tears stream down her cheeks. Her body protests at the effort it takes to cry, but doesn’t stop until she’s struggling to breath, physically exhausted. And Lance is there through it all, whispering soothing words, and stroking her hair back. 

“I want to see you, one last time.” she gasps, and his fingers are gently guiding her head until her eyes meet his. Blue, just like the ocean, yet clear enough that she can see every layer of emotion hidden within. She wants to start sobbing again. 

“Hi,” he manages, using his thumb to wipe a tear from her cheek. 

“Hi.” 

His hands reach down and clasp hers. “So this is it then?” 

“Yeah, it is.” this time it didn’t hurt nearly as much. He nods in understanding, the tear stains on his own cheeks glinting in the sunlight. 

“I love you.” he bends down and kisses her knuckles softly. 

“I love you too.” she wants to say more, wants to tell him how scared she is, how much she’s missed him,  _ everything _ , but can’t find the energy to do so. Her eyelids are so heavy, and all she wants to do is sleep. Lance seems to understand, for he gently brushes her bangs out of her face and removes her glasses before pressing his lips to her forehead. 

“Go to sleep  _ hermosa _ .” 

She doesn’t ask if he’ll be there when she wakes up--they both know the answer is no. Instead she lets herself pretend that none of this is real, that its all a bad dream and she’ll wake up tomorrow refreshed with Lance by her side. 

Katie doesn’t notice her eyes closing until the darkness rolls over her. 

And the room is silent at last. 

**Author's Note:**

> thoughts? id love to hear them!


End file.
